Apparently the blues are contagious and mutating, as I am now sick in bed with the flu. I hate being sick. I hate myself when I am sick. I become a giant baby.
Being sick when you are kid is fun because you get to skip school and watch cartoons during the day. Mom let’s you sleep on the good couch and serves you Sprite and Saltines and is nice to you. You get to act like a baby.
Being sick when you are an adult and not going to work isn’t so bad either because you get to watch The View and Ellen during the day and sleep on the good couch and not be at work. And pretend to be a baby.
But being sick when you work from home is not exotic at all because there’s no one to call to let them know I’m not coming in. I’m home, I’m sick, I’m the boss, and I’m expected to meet my deadlines. My boss is such a bitch. Where’s my pacifier?
Candy ring pacifiers available here.