Jslow Bombs on The Runway

Exhibit A: Jslow strikes “the photo bomb” at the L. Catherine runway show.

It’s late and I’m in bed at the Empire watching RHOBH and eating Pringles after three long days at New York Fashion Week.

Jslow’s feet hurt from all of the “sashaying and moseying” – my words to describe her leisurely I mean EXCRUCIATINGLY SLOW pace –  from Lincoln Center to Chelsea to the Meatpacking district and back to Lincoln Center. She actually took Advil “for her feet,” a first. Her high heeled, thigh-high Miu Miu boots are truly cruel shoes.

Her face hurts too, as does mine. Nemo’s icy winds and snow are partly to blame, but mostly it’s from all of the smiling.

Exhibit B: “Jslow loses her shit” with Jean (left) and Valarie (right) from Idiosyncratic Fashionistas at Lincoln Center, February 7, 2013. Jslow’s style credits: Black mohair coat by Martin Margiela, electric blue leather jacket, vintaage, fur collar from Elizabeth Charles, sunglasses Cutler & Cross.

We still don’t know quite how to smile or pose for the street photographers, as we’re uncomfortable in front of the camera and tense up. We are working on this, we have to. Having said that, Jslow is perfecting her smile-segment of her pose by deploying one of two tactics: the “Photo bomb” (Exhibit A) and/or the “Jslow loses her shit” (Exhibits B and C).

Jslow’s “photo bomb” made it’s first appearance yesterday at the L. Catherine runway show, which consists of her head craned and tilted to the right or left, mouth agape. We were seated in the front row — OK, so there only was one row of chairs — but anyway, being that close meant great photo opportunities. When I would lean in to snap a photo, Jslow’s mug would enter the frame. Unfortunately, she rather enjoyed this and now it’s a thing. That combination of enjoyment, knowledge that it annoys me, and resulting internal giggle produces a happy, beautiful smile.

Exhibit C: “Jslow loses her shit” with Mondo Guerra of Project Runway Season 8, February 8, 2013. Lamb and leather coat by Preen, star dress, Dolce & Gabanna.

The “Jslow loses her shit” is what comes naturally when spots, approaches and ultimately is photographed with people she idolizes. She is so satisfied that it produces a shit-eating-grin the likes that I’ve never seen.

Smiles, really great, warm, wide smiles are the result of what is going on inside. When the heart and soul is happy, it bursts out of our mouths creating a heart-shape on our lips.

I’m waiting for Jslow to combine her two techniques: to “photo bomb” people she “loses here shit” over when they are being photographed by someone else. Although on second thought, that would most likely blow her chances of  getting that “Jslow loses her shit” opportunity as her idols flee the mad photo bomber.