Nice Pants. I Mean Nice Boots.

The Net-A-Porter Monday, Wednesday and Friday “What’s New” posts are signposts on my weeks. Monday? Crap, it’s Monday. But HEY! Look at this new Charlotte Olympia Record Perspex Clutch!

Charlotte Olympia clutch

Charlotte Olympia clutch

Wednesday? Big sigh of relief that the week is half-over and WOW! Check out the festive Miss Lanvin Snow Globe!

Lanvin Snow Globe.

Lanvin Snow Globe

Friday’s are the best for obvious reasons. The week is over! The weekend is near! And I often have more time and mental space to really absorb the treasures on the page, and retrace my steps from Monday and Wednesday to see if I missed anything.

Oh boy, did I.

To the naked eye the photo below is of leather leggings. Or is it leather boots?  I “hung a Spanky” as it were (reference to the Little Rascals and Spanky’s  ‘look, look away, look back fast in horror/awe)’ as I realized these Tamara Mellon “Sweet Revenge” leather legging boots were in fact leggings with boots attached, or boots with leggings attached. Beggings? Loots?

Tamara Mellon "Sweet Revenge" leather legging boots, Net-A-Porter.

Tamara Mellon “Sweet Revenge” leather legging boots, Net-A-Porter.

Is it me, or is the “legging” the hardest working item in clothes business? They’ve combined with jeans to form “jeggings”, are the star of workout wear, appear under shorts (denim AND gym), dresses and skirts, and have supplanted sweatpants as the go-to stay-in-the-house lounge wear. And now they are shoes!

But I have to give this incarnation a giant WTF.

First off, let’s talk about fit. Finding boots that fit well in the actual foot area, ankle and calf is hard enough. Finding leather pants and/or leggings is also not for the faint of heart. But to have to combine the challenge perfect fitting boots AND paints, which basically doubles your chances of having some aspect not fitting properly, is a problem.

What about temperature control? I get clammy just thinking of the pools of sweat that these leather tubes would generate.

And what if you bust these out for a night out and your feet start to hurt? It’s not like you can kick them off, right? You’d be sitting, or standing, in your underpants, assuming you wear any. Or what if you find yourself at a shoe-shunning home, like on that episode on Sex In The City when Carrie is forced to doff her Jimmy Choos at Tatum O’Neal’s baby shower? Can you say fucked?

Speaking of Jimmy Choo, Tamara Mellon, this “Begging Boot’ designer, was recently the creative director there. So she clearly knows her stuff. Does she know that these, whatever they are, are ridiculous?

Ladies, what say you? TGIF!

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