A Barney’s Virgin Pops Her Cherry In Las Vegas

las vegas virgin america signI don’t know about you, but I’m still recovering from Memorial Day weekend.

Five of us from our seven-lady poker group had decided to take our show on the road and play poker in Vegas over Memorial Day weekend. I must note we pretty much suck at poker, but it’s our excuse to gather each month to drink, eat and catch-up as we burn and turn our way through the cards. It beats a book club, hands down.

The highlight of the trip for Suzee, Laura and Luanne was their date with Bruno Mars Saturday night. For me and MaryBeth, it was our date with Barney(s).

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Going “off campus” to leave the Cosmopolitan for the Venetian Grand Canal Shoppes took every ounce of energy we could muster, but we rallied our post-pool-cocktail-and napped selves to trudge down the long hotel hallway to the elevator, which picked us up on 40 packed with 20-somethings. We did the sideways squeeze-in, eyes now wide watching the girls squeezed into their tiny dresses teetering on giant heels, faces caked with more makeup I’ve worn all year. The scene multiplied by the thousands as we crossed the casino to queue up at the cab line.

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Slut slut, goose.

Finally, we made it to the mall. That big red Barneys awning was our umbrella sheltering us from the trash that had hit us from all sides. We were safe.

MaryBeth is probably like most of you ladies, who take great care of yourselves and love to shop for pretty things, but either can’t afford or justify spending $750 on a pair of shoes. As Jslow noted in this post last week, every once in a while it’s okay to treat yourself to a piece of sartorial art. So with that in mind, MaryBeth zeroed in on HER piece of art: A very sexy, shiny and classic pair of Manolo Blahnik heels she has been coveting for years.

She put them on. Cartoon birds and rainbows appeared. That pair of shoes with the 4 inch heel elevated not only her already towering five-foot-nine-and-a-half inch frame, but her entire look, mood and self-confidence. They were both shrink and stylist in a box.

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We grabbed food-court pizzas and Bud Lights and headed back, MaryBeth with more swagger than the lot of those Vegas vamps. She had popped her Barneys cherry, and there was no turning back. In that magical night, she grew up from a mere shopping girl to a shopping woman. She had no regrets, as she was ready and knew that those shoes were the one. It had been love at first sight and she was ready to consummate the relationship.

And this time, what happened in Vegas most definitely did not stay in Vegas — it came home in a Barneys bag.


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