No Year’s Resolutions
Yesterday I sat in Jubilee’s chair at Hair Candy with a head full of pink dye, blue on the outside from the bitter cold, blue on the inside from the usual things that make me blue this time of year.
I warned Jubilee that I was in a foul mood. Nothing personal, I said. Just the usual yuckiness I always feel between Christmas and New Years. It’s like that relative you don’t particularly like, who always comes to visit and you know it’s not going to be pleasant but there’s nothing you can do. It just is what it is. You know they’re coming, you know you will be bummed out, you know it will be over soon, but for the duration, it just plain sucks.
Meanwhile, back in the chair, I can’t escape myself, staring back at me from the mirror. I’m stuck. I have no energy for the usual banter I have.
But I banter anyway, not interested or interesting.
We cover all of the clichés. Including the whole issue of The New Year’s Resolution.
“Do you have any?” asks Jubilee.
“Uh, haven’t really thought about it” I respond. At this point I’m not sure whether this is true or not, but I’m trying to move the conversation along.
But I loosen up, tighten my thinking cap (which itches under all of that bleach) and say this:
“I suppose we all should have resolutions, because really, we all have areas to improve on – whether it’s to be smaller, smarter, more creative, more productive, a better partner, a better spouse, a better person, better, better, better….”
At which point it hit me that, wow, this resolution thing is utter bullshit.
Jubilee pondered this too. And said this:
“Why can’t we all just be? Be happy with who we are?”
And so we both vowed to not make any.
I left her chair and headed back outside into the frosty air with wet hair (blow-dry + my hair = SOS pad) looking far more pink, and feeling much less blue.
Thanks Jubilee.
Happy New Years!
xo
1: Edie Parker Flavia clutch, Net-A-Porter. 2: Philipp Plein “Happy” leggings, Farfetch. 3: Joshua Saunders Happy Smile Trainers, Avenue32. 4: Moschino vintage “Love-Peace-Smile” necklace, Farfetch. 5: Spallanzani Happy ring, Montaigne Market.
Wait. We have more thoughts. Keep reading.
I’m one of those who does resolutions (revolutions?) But not your standard Lose-10-pounds, Organize-workspace, etc., resolutions. I pick a theme for the year (for this year, it’s Embrace my Inner Badass, so my next task is to define “badass”). Then I list some objectives (or sub-goals)–for me, the key is to refrain from specificity (e.g. by Dec. I will weigh XXX pounds or less, I will read Tolstoy’s entire oeuvre)–too much potential for guilt. Last year’s objectives included Trust Myself and my Intuition and Indulge in Life’s Opportunities. I write these on a piece of cardboard, which I place somewhere I can see it regularly (like the fridge door). Take it down for a few weeks when it becomes just background, only to resurrect it again later. At the top of the cardboard, I have the overarching goal for the year: By the end of 2015 (or whatever year), my life is richer, fuller, more satisfying than at the beginning of 2015.
I completely understand NOT wanting to write resolutions, though. They can be vehicles for guilt and shame.
And in any case, Happy New Year! May your 2015 be filled with health, happiness, and joy!
Hi Petra: I totally see what you mean, and read your resolution post on your blog, which I love. Can one subscribe to it?
I always want to better.. and there is always room for improvement. It’s just all the shaming, as you note. Can be exhausting! Happy New Years. xoxo
Paula–right now, the blog is evolving and I am learning about blogging. When I figure out how the subscription thing works, I’ll let you know. BTW, I thought of a great NY resolution for myself–take more fashion risks!
Paula ,
I am so glad you left the salon a little less blue, pink is such a better look on you !
I am always trying to do better, run faster, ect…. It’s exhausting. I am trying to be more in the moment. Its something you hear allot, but it is very hard to accomplish. Watching my daughter Olive run naked on the beach yesterday made me think about this. I tried to put her pants on she was not having it.
Hey Jubilee: I always feel less blue when I leave your chair. And not just because of my hair … you always fill me with such optimism and love.xoxoxo