Defying Gravity

The higher my number of years climb, the lower my body bits descend – some painfully slow, following the deadly pace of an antique grain elevator, others sinking fast like a stone. I’m not sure which speed is worse.

Gravity is pulling every inch of anything that dangles from my body down, down, down, whether it’s under-arm skin, under-eye bags, boobs, bladders, butts. It’s an equal opportunity punch in the face.

Me in my new Pierre Hardy Gravity Boots. Note my new giant phone case by Moschino.

Me in my new Pierre Hardy Gravity Boots. Note my new giant phone case by Moschino.Available at Net-A-Porter.

But Damn you, gravity. I see you even though I can’t. You may me invisible and have me surrounded, but I can fight back with an arsenal of skin firming ointments, tri-cep dips, long-sleeved shirts, concealer, and surgery. Gravity, schmavity.

And you know what else?

I’m going to use you for excuse number 7,349 to shop. I bought these Pierre Hardy Gravity boots to kick you in the ass as you make your way down. Give me all you’ve got, I’m ready.

And now please excuse me while I look for better lighting.


4 Responses


    Paula, I don’t believe I’ve ever NOT had flabby skin, even at my thinnest. I lost over a hundred pounds right after I graduated from high school and with it some skin elasticity. So, I’m no stranger to gravity-challenged bodies. Batwings under the arms? Had ’em for decades. And I go sleeveless, because it gets too f#@king hot here in the summer to don long sleeves. But I’ve never thought of this as an excuse to shop. Sheer f%&king brilliance, Paula! Thank you for the rationale!

    And btw, love the phone case, love the boots, love your style!

    1. Paula

      Petra – wow, 100 pounds, that is amazing. I’m in awe of you. Thanks for the kind words and yes, I’m using all of my middle-aged maladies to shop! xoxo


    Love this attitude! Seems to me that my friends have been moaning about age since about 30. Turning 60 this summer and I am determined to evolve my style, not try to stay young. Far more interesting to be this age than what I remember from my 20’s and 30’s and even 40’s! Like you, I am beating back the bad stuff and enhancing the good, and there is plenty good in us…

    1. Paula

      Mari: Thanks so much for writing! I have so many friends in their 60s, 70s and 80s with more sass, style and soul than women half their ages that inspire me every day. And yes, there is plenty good in all of us. Hope you come back to visit us, and please let us know if there are any topics or styles you want us to write about. xoxo

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