Let’s Hear it for the Grillz

madonna's grill, blankstareblink.comLast month Madonna couldn’t show up to an event without showing off her newfangled gold grill, or grillz for those more street savvy.

I thought Madonna looked like an idiot. She’s 55 years old, and last time I checked, is not from the hood.

I wasn’t sure if my bias was based on my dislike of her music, jealousy over her continued relevance as the decades pass, dedication to the gym, or perhaps the fact that I covet her wardrobe most of the time. But a grill?


I’m buying grillz on Flavor Flav or Lil’ Wayne. But Madonna? I’m not picking up what she’s putting down. Or putting in her mouth. She looks like a dope instead of being dope.

On Sunday when I was at a school event, happily munching on a piece of pizza, I swore there was a rock somehow mixed-in with the pepperoni. Complete bummer as the slice was good and I wanted more, until I realized it wasn’t a rock at all but half of my tooth.

Nothing makes you feel older than having your teeth fall out of your head. After I saw the dentist and he recommended a gold replacement, I got one. I mean, I got it.

Madonna’s not doing it for fashion, she’s doing it to keep her teeth inside her head.

I’m with you girl. Getting older does come with benefits. Gold Grill and all.

Get yours here, 14kgoldteeth.com

2 Responses

  1. aratner@nyc.rr.com'

    Ha! I can so relate! Just had a tooth extracted (horrors! I’m like a hilbilly now) and have an empty space where the molar was. But no gold for me, I’m getting a titanium implant. That is after 4 months of walking around with a missing tooth. But hmm… grills are a good way to camouflage what’s missing. That must be what she’s up to.

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