License to Lovely

kermie and me, blankstareblink.comOne’s own self image is usually a pretty warped and inaccurate take on how one is actually perceived.

Take Paula’s passport photo for instance. When she emailed it to me, I wrote back that I thought she looked cute. She immediately rebuffed me.

Was she wrong to rebuff me? Or should she have seen herself through my compliment? We are all our own harshest critics. And I’ll even go further and say we are pretty mean critics across the board. What gives?

As evidenced above, I went as Miss Piggy for Halloween. Not because I like the character, but as punishment to myself.

Since my move to California, I’ve been dealing with an emotional shitstorm in my head and heart. To deal with my overwhelmingly sad feelings, I’ve been eating too much and not working out at all to counterbalance my imbalance. Along with the eating I’ve been growing in my eyebrows, and living through bad hair color. (I miss you Bumble & Bumble). All this and more is a serious recipe for self loathing.

Today’s post is not about something tangible that I’m coveting. Because it won’t matter how I adorn myself if I don’t like the package I’m wrapping up.

We are all priceless, unique, and flawed. And while we can be wonderfully compassionate beings, we can also be terribly cruel and our cruelty has no bounds. Celebrities, strangers, friends, family, ourselves. No one is off-limits. It’s an ugly business this hatred.

If I don’t like myself pretty soon, there’ll be no reason to purchase that Barbara Bui tunic I fell in love with yesterday. To hell with hating. I love each and every one of the additional pounds on my sweet 5’4″ frame, which is held up by the prettiest sized 6-1/2 feet you will ever see.  And those extra hairs growing above my beautiful hazel eyes, they’re lucky to have such company from my long, long eyelashes. The scars, freckles, wrinkles, sags and age spots—they give my already fantastic character, even more fantastic character. And my yellowed teeth, well, Crest White Strips can take care of those.

All these beautiful imperfections, and more, get to sleep next to my Kermit every night.  I really am one lucky pig!

Tell us what you like about yourself. Paula, you’re first.

barbara bui dress/tunic,

Barbara Bui leather trimmed one-sleeved dress/tunic/awesomeness that i’ll soon be wearing while waving my self-love flag!

6 Responses


    GIRLFRIEND…you aint even close to 50 yet.
    I could barely find a dress to fit the sag wagon Im carting around to my 50th bday party.
    I just spent 600 on botox and some special needle thing that zapped some weird clogged oil ducts in my face that looked like warts. WTF? I have to go to bed 90 minutes early to deal with product application to keep myself looking 49-1/2. I just returned from the mall where I had my good friends at the kiosk thread the bigfoot hair off my face. I left the dermatology office with about 10 trees worth of pamphlets on new “treatments” that will really help with pigment, collagen and pore size reduction. I told him I don’t do anything that hurts – his response was “well, you will feel like you got slapped around a bit!!!!” Uh, no thanks. Im hoping Oil of Olay can do the trick. And i say Fuck Ya I want whipped cream on my double mocha this morning? How do you think I maintain my thighs?


    I have been totally relating to your dislocation posts lately as I’ve moved my whole family to Barcelona for adventure. The hard part is being totally out of groove. I don’t remember all the face creams at night, I can’t find all my supplements, I’ve been totally sick from all the new germs, and I have no idea where to get my hair cut. No one here knows me, they might think I rock oversized double denim back in SF or that I don’t believe in make-up. Anyway, being kind to one’s self is likely the most important life lesson of all and a great example to my kids.

    Thanks for sharing. Love the tunic.

    1. Paula

      Hi Mary:

      Paula here. Even though I only moved across a city, I feel exactly as you described — out of a groove. Which impacts my self-esteem. So…this week I treated myself to a new haircut and color, and got my make-up done! Will be posting about both next week. My husband and I were going to go to Barcelona for vacation this fall, but bought the house instead! Dying to know how it is!

      Good luck with everything and getting your groove back.


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