I’ve shuffled back to Blank Stare, Blink in my old Ugg slippers, just in time for New York Fashion Week.
Yes, Ugg Slippers.
My husband hates them. My clothes hate them. I hate them.
Yet I have no choice. I hope Jslow doesn’t disown me.
I’ve just slammed the door to the urbane Nob Hill life of my “youth.” I’ve happily waved buh-bye to the “bras” in backwards baseball hats high-fiving other “bras” for no apparent reason. I’ve smiling said adios to the fist-bumping Twitter transplants zipping around in pink mustachioed cars on their way to bottomless Mimosa brunches. And I’ve happily said hello to a quiet life up in the fog of Golden Gate Heights where I can finally see things clearly. I’ve jog-walked into middle-aged nirvana with open fleeced arms. And Uggs.
But why Uggs? Why now?
Two words: Hardwood floors.
Hardwood floors are beautiful. Everything looks great on them, even Bankers Boxes and faded furniture. And like most beautiful things, they attract everything: dirt, dust, debris, you name it.
They are the supermodel of the home.
And just as being anywhere near a supermodel or anyone remotely resembling a supermodel renders one about as un-super as can be, these floors have turned me into a gigantic frump over night.
This has to change.
I was used to padding around my carpeted old flat in bare feet. As much as I love shoes, I just don’t wear them in the house (ditto bras.) But bare feet on bare floors get dirty, no matter how clean the floors appear to the naked eye. Thus the Uggs.
As life continues to present challenges and “new categories of shopping” to solve problems or fill a need, I’ve been forced to study slippers, which has proven vexing at best.
I’m not sure what direction my search will take. Does hardcore hardwood require a softer slipper, like my big pink fluffy scuffs of yore, which by the way, aren’t easy to find as they’ve been relegated to eBay — and the idea of “vintage” slippers is just gross — or do I do something more refined, like the “smoking slipper?” Hardwood ladies out there, any suggestions?
And this being the start of fashion week and all, and my couch being the front row, I at least want my feet to look the part, slippers and all.
1. Betsey Johnson sequin scuff slippers with fur, Betsey Johnson. 2. Betsey Johnson red fur slipper slides, Betsey Johnson. 3. Luca Valentini Elizabeth Slipper, Farfetch. 4. Victoria’s Secret Cozy Fleece Slipper, Victoria’s Secret. 5. Stella McCartney Velvet Slipper, My Theresa. 6. Pink Flamingo Slipper, Happy Feet. 7. Alexander Wang slippers, Alexander Wang. 8. Pink K Women’s Mable Terry Scuff Slipper, Kmart.