Denture Adventures

Diane Wednesday Denture-Print Pullover, H. Lorenzo.com. Did viewing this last night before bed spark the nightmare?

Last night I had one of those dreams, or nightmares, that a lot of my friends seem to have, and it goes something like this:

I wake up with a pile of teeth on my pillow.

My teeth.

Last night’s was the same theme, different story:

I wake up, and pull out my lower Invisalign retainer, only my teeth are attached to it. And then I go to pull out my top retainer, and more teeth and debris come tumbling out. To make matters more maddening, this is taking place on vacation somewhere surreal in those lands that only exist in dream clouds, where thick persistent fog makes it hard to see, and sidewalks spin like treadmills making forward motion impossible. Meanwhile, my mouth has no teeth, I am freaking out and need a dentist STAT.

Dreams have been analyzed to death. I had always assumed this particular dream was about the fear of aging, which makes sense to me. But just to be sure, I Googled “Dreams about losing teeth” and found thousands of sites that posit theories on what this dream means, with “aging” being but one of the reasons. Here is a partial list of what the “teeth falling out” dream could stem from, in no particular order:

• Fear of loss

• Depression

• Lack of control or power over life’s circumstances

• Anxiety

• Fear of embarrassment

• Letting things slip out of your mouth that shouldn’t — like gossip (this one courtesy of Dr. Oz)

• Telling lies (from the Chinese)

• Money worries (based on the tooth-fairy story — if you lose a tooth and leave it under your pillow, the tooth fairy brings you money)

• Failing to really dig into or “bite” into an issue with spouse, co-worker, friend, family-member

This list is not helping.

I woke up from the dream and shoved my hand in my mouth to make sure my choppers were safe and sound. I also patted my head to make sure my hair hadn’t fallen out. I’m sure that dream is next. Meanwhile, I’m going to wear my latest “teeth” dream on my sleeve, around my neck, on my feet…..

1: Oscar De La Renta houndstooth jacket, Matchesfashion.com. 2: Mimi Et Toi tooth necklace, Farfetch.com. 3: Venessa Arizaga Sharky enamel necklace, Liberty.co.uk. 4: Larissa Hadjio teeth bag, Not Just a label.com. 5: Saint Laurent Blood Luster sneakers, Neiman Marcus.com.