Full Steam Ahead

I was thinking about what it means to be a Mom, since yesterday was the celebration for those who are. “What is a Mom?” is a big question with loads of answers. As my kids age, the focus of my motherhood shifts, and right now I’m smack-dab in the bigger life questions of Why.

Mom, why can’t I have wedge sneakers? Mom, why can’t I have an i-phone for graduation? Mom, why can’t I stay up all night?

“Because I said so” seems like the perfect answer for my little ones who think they are suddenly adult.

But when a dear friend and fellow mom was diagnosed with cancer, and died only five-weeks later, I could see the fear behind my kids’ sky blue eyes and the questions swimming in their beautiful confused brains.

What is cancer? Why did she die? Will our friends be ok? Will this happen to our Mom?

It’s been a heartbreaking month and a half, which made this Mother’s Day more poignant. I’m happy to be healthy and with my family, sad for the loss of a close friend, and scared for the two kids who’s only parent was taken away.

Sometimes as Moms we don’t have the answers to life’s big questions and sometimes the answer is “I don’t know.”

What does this have to do with fashion and style? Not much, other than my friend was a former stylist and more recently worked for Donna Karan. At the memorial, a life-long childhood friend stood up at the podium and retold the story of Clarissa having big love for a good clothes steamer. My girlfriends and I laughed through our tears while nudging each other because only an hour prior, they’d all marveled at the steamer I had packed, each borrowing to take the well-traveled creases out of their dresses in honor of our beautiful friend.

This is the steamer I packed and have ordered for my “girlfriends in grief.” It’s a good one, probably the best travel steamer on the market and just as good to use at home. I know it’s silly, but it’s one of the ways to honor a woman who knew the importance of keeping your clothes fresh. Clarissa would be laughing right now.