Bloat Friday

I woke up this morning in the fog of gravy which no amount of Tums will tame. I feel ghastly.

But hey! Let’s go shopping. And I mean the kind which requires putting on pants and leaving the house. Real world shit.

And so I’m on the bus heading across town to start my journey through sale season. Shopping while bloated.

I’ve always found it fascinating how horrible most people must feel today after pounds of food and pounding alcohol. It’s even worse if you’re shopping for yourself (like me!) and have to shimmy out of your most forgiving “fat clothes” to slither into little dresses that are a cruel reminder of the damage you did yesterday.

But you know what? Take solace in the fact that whatever you try on will never look this bad again. The bloat will deflate, skin will snap back into place, and you’ll be back to normal before you do this all again in less than a month.

We hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! And please remember, shop local and at small businesses if you can.